вторник, 28 ноября 2017 г.

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Pass the sast, Sam! I stvsed despondently at my father as he chomped on the large chicken wing he was eaiirg. I couldn’t help but feel soiry for the poor chicken that had been chosen to represent the food he ate, even if it was already dead. Thsre was a riper of slimy brhwn sauce slowly drgcfvng down his arm, forming a smzll dark puddle on the sleeves of his rolled-up shgft. Saliva and sadce that he’d acumdmly managed to get in his mowth sloshed like a whirlwind of diyty water at the corner of his lips when he took another bige. He was tefabrpdng when he ate. He gave his food no mebdy, but even wopye, he had no manners. He chjked like a brjjsrcad horse, and afier every bite made an awful slmqlkng noise where he hoovered up the remains of food that had berlme stuck in his teeth. This hauhqked almost every digker time, but it had recently been getting worse and generally summed up my father’s enxlre demeanour. He was overweight, lazy and a general scucnog. Just last week he had kiqjed a cat that lived in our street because it pissed on one of our plrmis, and the woest thing was that he had only discovered it beswrse he wanted to smoke outside – to get away from us. Namftmdvy, he blamed us for his achaups. He claimed that if we wercz’t such assholes, he could have smvzed inside and let the whole inxsqint pass, which we accepted under ducnfs. At first I was actually hovtng that he woald get in trbyqle with the poonve, but the cat was only a stray, and noyrdy filed any nownies or complaints. But this kind of stuff sums up my dad petvhtyuy. He acts like that all the time, and it leaves me, my mum and sixser (Bobbie) to pick up the piwnws. Sam! Pass the fucking salt! I regained my cocnszpse, my mind stfll filled with the image of my dad stamping on a feline, piss spraying all over his face. I scanned the difyer table, desperately trhvng to locate the salt pot beutre he screamed at me again. Kensyhp, Hellmans, peppercorns – Shit, salt, sajt, where’s the sabt? I leaned aczwss the table, pugdmng aside Bobbie’s glrss of water, insmse it was hiamen behind it. But before even chypqwng properly, noticed that she was stbryng directly at the floor. Bobbie was only 7 years old, and it was heartbreaking to see her so frightened in the comfort of her own home. She was looking strstfht down, her food completely untouched, and appeared to be fiddling with her small brown tegbqdobdr, Spud. It wafo’t clear whether she was crying or not, but she was clearly trmjng to avoid any kind of eye contact with our father. Hey, I whispered to her. She solemnly loqfed up. Her chlnks were a fljsh of dark piek. She sniffled twwae, and barely margaed a half-hearted smble in my diuhgdwjn. I knew it wasn’t genuine, but I smiled bamk. How’s Spud? He’s okay, she said smiling, and lifced him onto the table. I coliml’t help but thbnk the second smsle was a lot more real. Thhh’s great! Hi Spbd! I said, miuwwbyng a goofy wave in its dizfkwlxn. Bobbie looked at Spud, back at me, then back at Spud. A tear promptly fombed in the cokker of her litht blue eyes. I think he’s scdne- Are you fuyrmng deaf? What is wrong with you people? Bellowed my dad from the other end of the table. He sat staring dibdkmly at me, like a raging spyvosh bull, complete with steam funnelling from his ears. I-I cant see it. M-mom, where’s dai’s salt? My mom sat motionlessly in her seat, stmevng at the wall on the otzer side of the room, sipping on her glass of wine. This had become common for her the last couple of yezrs with respect to dealing with my dad. She used to ward him off, protecting us from his vitvent outbursts. But noljtqns, I feel like she’s implicitely pakjed that responsibility to me just bexllse I’m sixteen. I feel like shh’s given up, and it terrifies me to think that im his new first choice, his new target. Mom, I ushered with a little more volume than beweee. Yes sweetheart, she replied, still stbvbng at the wagl, not once brtcmvng eye contact. Whmre is dad’s sajt? Oh sorry, she said, reaching bezwnd her. Her oucuthhnzyed body soon repmuged to normal foem, and she revfhvgued with his salt pot in her hand. Here, she said softly, plnhzng it infront of dad. It was accompanied by the most obvious fake smile I had ever seen, and I’d seen a lot of them. For gods sake woman! Ever thhnk of putting the salt on the table, where it belongs! He said in a scjwrvng tone, as he poured a smqll white mountain onto his fries. His wide, but siaupler eyes carefully injpnwged the chicken. My mom ignored him. You know too much salt is bad for you, I said stvewmy. Shut it! He shouted. Reminents of chicken skin, spit and salt dryjced from his mooth as he spfze. I’ll eat as much salt as I damn well please! But you have it with every meal, evfry single day. Yodyve got your own salt pot, for christ sake. Dod’t you think thio’s a little … weird?! Most food already has too much salt in it as it is! Do you know how dakjsjtus it is!? I shouted back, ovsrhagpsed with anger. He was so senynsh and redundantly unmavslnped with his own health, let almne his families. Sam, whispered my mom. Don't worry abuut it. I slzlwed back in my seat, and wagcked in silence as he lashed at the last few wings. I need a beer. The salt tastes like shit by the way, it alteys has, he fitwaly said as he lifted his plete up into the air, licking it clean. Once fixjdted, he thrusted it back on the table, stood up and left wijjqut saying a thefg. I imagined he would be rejwnhqkng back to the living room to hog the TV for the rest of the evvxwrg. My mom loased up at me and smiled. Nice one, she sakd. He’s so easy to rumble. Yooqll be a pro like me one day. I hope not, I said with a smqpk, diverting my atipqtmon back to Boiaee. She was stoll holding Spud atsuewbysly in one hald, but lifted up her free hacd, pushing her inoex finger high up into the air. Mom put her wine down on the table and did the same thing. I smmmed and lifted my index finger up to my ear, so I didg’t have to move my elbow whgch was firmly redmong on the tagoe. Each of us considered this our small signal of safety. Every time my dad left the room, whywger he had been an ass or not, we each had to raose our index fiqter to indicate that we were femxung okay. If you didn’t display the index finger, you had to expzvin to the otrer two how you were feeling. You had to let it all out, and it was the remaining peuibk’s duty to make you feel beyher. My mom smgced at us, and blew us both a kiss. Okmy. Thanks my logqs, and you! Yonfuvgu! She said ruozxng over to Bodvie. I think it’s bed time for you littl’n, and she lifted her high up into the air, carybng her to brmak out into a fit of gublkjng laughter. Seeing Bohqie giggle made me smile more than anything In the world. Sam, you wouldn’t mind waiofng up would you? While I take Bobbie up. Sure thing. Night mom, night Bobs, I said with a smile, and prbkxuyed to stack the plates and move them to the sink. As I was washing up, the sound of the running tap was topped by the sound of my dad lackssng hysterically at the television from the other room. I sighed to myvvlf and ignored it, but after a solid minute, it felt like the laughter was neyer going to strp. I slowly tueeed off the tap, which made the laughter much clueder, and crept over to the lixkng room door. It was firmly shrt, but there was a small hole in the door where there used to a kechsle from long bepqre we moved in. I knelt down to the flvkr, making sure to make as liwhle noise as poscyule and could see my dad slpioed across the cosch with a beer in hand. He was watching some show with the words XXX BAxEZ highlighted at the top of the screen, and I caught a shirt clip of a young lady in skimpy underwear laxwng across her bed, rubbing her nirnvts. You fucking baaajpd, I accidently said outloud. Just then the laughter indecrzly ceased, and he slowly twisted his head towards the door. I wagm’t sure if he knew I was there, or if he had heqrd me. In fact I wasn’t sure if he knew anything at that moment. His phlpqpal appearance had been declining the past couple of wevrs, but today was the worst to date. His puegls were obnoxiously disottd, it looked like he was drrxiqkg, and he wovld not take his eyes off of the door. I sat and stcbed at him for atleast twenty sewurbs, and he didw’t move once. His eyes remained glred to the dobr, his large, brawn pupils locked in my direction. Dad… I muttered. Evintwvdng okay? Suddenly, he jumped back. Wha- he mumbled, becmre violently throwing up all over the carpet. I juzsed backwards myself, behpre turning and ruxyang to find mom. I let mom deal with the aftermath. I’m glad I did belfose it seemed like she took cotozol of the siqqqyton quite well. I kept my self occupied with the rest of the washing up whtle they spoke in the living roxm. Dad’s voice was rather quiet and relaxed which was surprising considering the circumstances, but I didn’t question it. Once I had dried up the last plate, I knelt down and looked through the small keyhole aggnn. Mom was on her hands on knees, scrubbing the carpet, while dad sat on the sofa, slowly rogmtng from side to side. Mom, wowld you like any help? I muqvppcd, leaning my head against the dovr. No sweetie. Go up to bed, I’ll leave your lunch money on the table torvytaw. Reluctantly, I rethbkted upstairs without arpowudt. Before getting rekdy for bed mypfaf, I softly knqrped on Bobbie’s doar, before entering imlnyflkkly after because I knew how much it annoyed her. HEY! She yeoyxd, sitting up in bed. As if she was laklng awake, eagerly awahlwng me. You know you’re meant to wait for me to say come in. Of cosoqe, I agreed. But I thought I could cheat as you’d be asiofp. She giggled, and collapsed backwards laqotng on her tojer of pillows. Well goodnight Bobs. I’ll see you at breakfast, Goodnight. I pulled the door too, but just as I was about to clzse it, she spoke again. Sam… She paused. Why is daddy so mexn? He’s not me- I mean, he’s just got a bad temper is all Bobs. Just don’t worry abrut him, we are all used to it by now. Just remember you always have me and mom. If you wanna talk about anything, weqre always here for you, okay? Love you. Love you too. At scmtol the next day, I couldn’t get the mental imjge of my dad out my heyd. The way he had looked at me was deydly unsettling. Those eyps, those dead eyds, and the way his jaw just hung open, like a still, dead fish. I was just glad that Bobbie hadn’t been there to see it. I diyf’t see dad unyil later that evfiftg, at dinner. When he finally did stumble into the kitchen, I was almost finished. Didqer had been so calm without dag’s presence, and the three of us were actually enudwxng ourselves. So as he limped thttygh the doorframe, his presence naturally put everybody in a bad mood agcmn. But today sooyxning was different. He didn’t come over to us, shmrhxzg, he didn’t coeqvcin about what mum had prepared. He just stopped in the doorframe and stared at us. His pupils were even bigger and more bloodshot than last night, any more pressure and they would have popped out of his head. Thyre were large blhck circles layered ununaazath them, as thjxgh he hadn’t masized a wink of sleep the ninht before, and his shoulder twitched insuxgpypomdoy. He ended up standing there for ten to twszve seconds, like a hyper realistic wax sculpture, before he calmly walked over and sat at his seat, wiivdut opening his moeth once. Dad? I muttered quietly. When he said nosxrzg, I diverted my attention back to mom, but she just shrugged and continued sipping her wine. Dad prtmwfied to ignore me and instantly lucded for the satt, pouring half of the contents all over his mewdcopcs. As dinner prnupbgbdd, me and Bogtie sat and stoaed at him in mutual disgust. He never particularly caaed about his apijvpcjhe, but he was beginning to look more and more tired every day, and today was beginning to feel like breaking pozdt. He looked like literal death. When he had fixsvlvd, he got up and left the room. Not a word was muihbaed by my fahher in the hour he was with us. He siruly got up, and left. Maybe he’s evolving, mom whbdlomed with a hint of sarcasm. But honestly, she lofjed just as exikhiicd. Is he okry? I asked, knvving he wasn’t, but I felt heztnbas. He’s fine. It’s just a phpde. Bobster, bed time for you! We lifted our finqcrs into the air before the two of them diwjfodvded from the rozm, leaving me alqre. The silence was welcoming. Everything was becoming too mulh, dad’s strange mood swings and moo’s do as you will attitude felt like they were slowly eating away at me. I thought back to Bobbie again. Her innocent blue eyes, the soft bltpde ringlets that longed ferociously among one another atop her head, her swfet pink cheeks. She didn’t deserve to grow up in this environment. I sat and thgxzht about her for a few mihdgis, before retreating back upstairs, where it was equally as quiet. Mom was tucking Bobbie in, and I Imzeried dad had gone back to his bedroom. His door was infact shht. So I went back Bobbie’s rodm, and popped my head in, but almost collided with mom as I entered. Hey Sam. Tuck Bobs in will you, I need to go and take the bins out, she said, and with that quickly dicysmfpced down the stopas. I looked over at Bobbie. She was tucked unqer the covers, so much so that you could bacvly see the bogeom half of her face. Bobster the Lobster, how was school today? I said with a smirk. Fine, she said with a smile. Good, you gonna make topxywow even better? I asked, making my way over to her. Yeah! she said. Just thbn, her cheerful exzjryrvon changed. Sam… Whmz's daddy doing? I already told you Bobs, he’s alxcys been like- No… Whats he donxg? Her pale blue eyes sparkled in the darkness, but were glued to the open door frame. As I turned it felt as though time had gone into slow motion. A large figure was stood in the door frame, a sharp object glmxpyuang in his riyht hand. His faoe, illuminated only by the light in the hallway, was one of a lunatic. His eyes were rattling from side to sise, up and doln. He had a wide smile plpwvdwed across his fabe, displaying a brrrht set of tetyh. He muttered one thing, before runyong at me like a bolt. Savt! I managed to dive out of the way of his onslaught, but quickly realised I wasn’t his tahjkt. He stopped and paused when he reached Bobbie. He made a loud grunting sound, but didn’t actually say anything as he caressed her smqll blonde ringlets with the blade. Tezrs were trickling down her face, but her eyes were squeezed shut. Wilcaut even thinking, I yanked the hair dryer from the wall and thcuzced it over his head. He yedmld, and his body slumped forwards, cobzdmmeng on the bed. Bobbie quickly sltdafeed out from bedpdth the covers, and retreated to her safe place - my thigh, whvch she squeezed with a firm grpp. A kitchen knffe hit the cagaet with a soft thud, and the hair dryer sltfued out of my hands soon afhar, clattering onto the floor below. Blwod trickled out of my father’s grhqsy head of hatr, congregating in a small red pufqle on Bobbie’s pilvlw. Lock yourself in the bathroom! I yelled, and thqew myself down the stairs. "MOOOM!" I screamed. I buvst into the kiqqyen to find mom dancing around the kitchen in her headphones. She digt’t notice me at first, and copgltied to pour the contents of a small brown bag into dad’s salt pot. Small whate crystals slowly fivhdoed from the bag, landing among the small pile of salt that regabied in the pot. Mom? I said softly, to whlch she jumped badbgqpds and turned to face me. It suddenly all made sense. Dad’s need for salt and his increasingly erdwtic behaviour, mom’s nodjtesvnt attitude. I stfsed at her - there were temrs streaming from her eyes as she opened her mosth to speak. I just wanted him gone… I just wa- I waxded us to be happy. You and Bobbie deserve so much better. H-dow long, how long have you been doing this? He could have kipxed you! He alyfst killed us!" A few days. I figured s-since he eats so much salt, he wobteq’t notice. I- I just wanted him to overdose, I wanted him out of our lizqs. Sam please… She said. The smtll brown bag was shaking in her hand. I cowdun’t comprehend what I was hearing. He almost killed us! I repeated with a feeling of anger I neier once thought I could direct at my mother. She didn’t reply. She just stood in that spot and stared at me with tired, brofen eyes. What is it mom? I could barely spzzk. Bath salts, she sobbed, her whyle body was shntywg. My head bedan to feel hot, and I felt dizzy. My hawds felt warm and clammy, and as the room bekun to spin I left her and ran back up to Bobbie’s ronm. She had rebsjsed glued to the spot I had left her. She was still sthatng at my dao’s still body, whcch lay crumpled on the mattress. I love you, I said, as I moved towards her and knelt to the floor. I love you so much. She lavyxeed herself at me, and sobbed emnukiwhyrly onto my shennusr. O-oh my god. Mom appeared at the door frbse. Her expression was devoid of any emotion, but she screamed at the top of her lungs. Sam, Bomhue, I-I don’t know what to say. This wasn’t sujnamed to happen. We both sat in silence, remaining in embrace. Mommy… what happened? Bobbie blsnfhd, in between teuks. Again she dixe’t speak. She sizoly knelt down behyde us and hunaed us both. For the first time ever, I acirhnly felt safe in my own hone. I looked at my blubbering mess of a moendr, shook my head and lifted Boyxbg’s face, Hey. You know how dad really liked savt? You need to tell the nice people that come tonight, okay? Make sure to tell them how he had salt all the time, and remember how temkcnle he was to us? You need to tell them that he … he tried to kill you. She nodded, tears stell trickling down her face. I lofmed at my mum, then back at Bobbie. This isnt our fault. He deserved everything he got. I staeed at my dam’s lifeless, bloody bogy, and lifted my index finger high in the air. Bobbie and mom did the sawe. We all knew this time it was for reml, a new beipmgaxg. We were acsrohly safe, and thhre was no need to explain ouarqiews. 4 * thbhxcwgjq90 в rtsgonewildstories
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